


People Do Little Else

by Ani



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, M/M, Meta, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:06:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ani/pseuds/Ani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John find out that people are writing RPF of them on the internet. Mycroft approves of the whole thing.</p><p>A very silly fill for this <a href="http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/19743.html?thread=118705951#t118705951">prompt</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People Do Little Else

We still on for the game?

Mike Stamford 2 Mar 15:12

 

Great new post!

Jacob Sowersby 2 Mar 15:46

 

I wrote this for you.

Mystery 2 Mar 15:53

 

     John immediately clicked the link on his latest comment - some people liked to send them little photographs or videos thanking Sherlock for his work - but frowned when he saw the warning. _You must be 18 and over_ , the site told him. _This site contains RPF. Click here for access with trigger warnings and here without._

     "Sherlock, d'you know what RPF is?"

     "Renal plasma flow," Sherlock responded immediately, not looking up from his chemistry book. "Rwandan Patriotic Front. Reverse path forwarding. Is there context?"

     “Erm, yes,” John said, slowly. He edged his laptop away from him, changed his mind, and peered closely at the screen. “The context is that I’m buggering you on the kitchen table.”

     Sherlock reached over and grabbed it from him with a scowl. “What on earth are you – _real person fiction_?”

     “Some person wrote a story. About us. Because of my blog. M-hmm. No. Nope, this is what madness is.”

     “Wrong.”

     “Yes, I agree. Very wrong. Very _very_ wrong. Why would someone-”

     “You’re wrong that one person wrote a story.” Sherlock swiveled the laptop on his knee around to show John. “This is an entire archive.”

     John stared.

     “What,” he said, his voice a bit higher than was properly normal, “is mpreg.”

     Sherlock grabbed it back. “I pine for you. You confess your love. I tie you up and beat you with my riding crop. You’re made of kittens.”

     “How, uhm, how many stories are there?”

     “316 as of today. But this is just one site. There might be more.” John buried his head in his hands and listened to the sound of furious typing. “Oh yes. That was just a list of recommended stories, there are many larger archives.”

     “So if someone types my name into Google-”        

     “Excellent thought, John. I had only tried searching with the RPF tag. Let’s try Sherlock Holmes and John Watson without this forward slash they use… Your blog – mine – news reports…. Yes. Seventh listing. A kink meme about us.”

     “A kink meme,” John repeated.

     “Yes, it’s quite active. Over 3,400 responses to the last thread alone. The _things_ that people do with their time…”

     “A kink meme.”

     “Yes,” Sherlock said. “Does that mean something to you?”

     “I know what a kink is,” he said. “And a meme. So I’m just putting them together.”

     “A collection of sexual varieties, I’d imagined,” Sherlock said. “Oh. Oh, I see.”

     John climbed into the sofa next to him to look. Because he was brave. Because he was curious. Because my God, this was what people saw when they looked up his name and over _3,400 comments_? That was more than his blog had ever dreamed of!

 

**John Watson, D.M.**

_Anonymous_ __

2012-03-02 07:40 (UTC)

Mike drags John to a geek con, and at the con, into a game. It’s the most popular running game at the con and all due to a player everyone hates, who is cruel and manipulates the rules but they let him in because he’s a brilliant actor and comes up with the best story lines. S/J AU

 

**Omega!verse alpha!John dubcon**

_Anonymous_

2012-03-02 09:25 (UTC)

Morarity sneaks in and replaces Sherlock’s medicine with sugar pills. And suddenly, he’s going into heat, with the man who has longed for him for ages the only alpha around.

 

**Moriarty/Sherlock**

_Anonymous_

2012-03-02 10:11 (UTC)

“We two dark souls do twist for each other.” D/s preferred. No noncon please.

 

     At this point John became somewhat amused at the outraged look on Sherlock’s face.

 

**Anderson and John are in love**

_Anonymous_

2012-03-02 13:02 (UTC)

They are also lobsters.

 

     “Lobsters,” Sherlock said flatly, while John was too busy feeling nauseated to be baffled.

 

**Late Night at the Yard**

_Anonymous_

2012-03-02 14:41 (UTC)

John and Sherlock are alone in the evidence locker late one night…

 

_Anonymous_

     2012-03-02 15:21 (UTC)

     Oh God, seconded!

 

_Anonymous_

    2012-03-02 15:38 (UTC)

     RTYI: Have you read Sally’s In the Quiet?

 

     “Idiot,” Sherlock hisses. “ _Idiot_. Of course.”

     “You’re doing the face,” John warns.

     “They know about Moriarty? Anderson? By _name_? You don’t go that deep into the cases and neither do the papers. This is an inside job.”

     It takes a moment for that to sink in. “You think that’s Sally _Donovan_.”

     Sherlock opens the story in a new tab and scrolls down, the words _leather gloves_ and _handcuffs_ whirring by.

 

seb43, dimsumcock, mbrolly, molls, candleangles, icthy_saurus, thelandlady, and DIgl, as well as 12 guest left kudos on this work!

 

Dimsumcock

Great PWP but you should really finish the The Thirteen Gables. 

Posted Mon 24 Apr 2012 06:15 BST

  


Molls

It’s so beautiful!!! I love how you describe Sherlock!!!

Posted Mon 22 Feb 2012 17:24 BST

 

Sally

Thanks for the C&C everyone!

Posted Tues 23 Feb 2012 09:46 BST

 

Icthy_Saurus

Another great fic. You should read it to me in person lol.

Posted Tues 23 Feb 2012 21:13 BST

 

DIgl

In my chair?!

Posted Thur 24 Feb 2012 07:12 BST

 

     “Oh my God,” John whispers. Sherlock tabs back over to the kinkmeme and goes to register.

     “You’re not going to leave nasty comments, are you?”

     “John. You can’t expect me not to investigate this. This is…” Sherlock trails off. John nods. He has no words either.

     “Your screenname is already taken.”

     Sherlock frowns and tries another. And another.

     “There’s talldarkandcoaty _22_ ,” John points out. Sherlock growls.

 

_Thanks for registering, asdfghkjkl! Check out the rules and our FAQ or start posting!_

 

     Sherlock goes to the last post - "Sherlock and John find the TARDIS on the roof of Bart’s" - and enters a comment. _Explain yourselves. Immediately._

     “Captcha,” John points out.

     “Obviously.” His fingers start flowing through the letters when he stops. And stares. And throws the laptop down, scrambling away from it onto the sofa.

     “Hey!” John grabs it before it can hit the floor. “What are you…” He looks at the captcha: _wilcomebrothr_. “No. That’s not…”

     “Ask for a different one.”

_imposibletruth_

     “I’m getting a drink,” Sherlock says, and stalks away.

_whatrmains_

_dotrythesundaysuggestions_

     “I’ll join you.” John slams the lid and walks - walks mind you, he’s definitely not running - away. And so he doesn’t notice his new blog comments until much later.

 

There are quite a few that start that way.

M 16:22

 

It might provide a few ideas.

M 16:23

 

I think you’d enjoy my Happy Announcement.

M 16:24

 

He’d like Bound and Beaten Beautifully, of course.

M 16:25

 

**Author's Note:**

> The full prompt is that "Sherlock or John finding out that people are writing 'RPF' of them on the internet. Somehow they managed to find this meme too. Bonus if anyone at the Yard secretly writes about them (Sally?). Mycroft approves of the whole thing.". I also took the follow-up comment "If Mycroft actually enjoys trolling with Captcha, I will lose my shit" to heart.
> 
> I will not say this is the most plausible or in character fic of all time, but I will say it proves I spend too much time on the internet.


End file.
